I Don’t Want To Be Me

I sit sometimes and think, “Why do I have to be me?”

I mean that is a true, exact thought that crosses my mind. It sounds so silly when I say it out loud, but it fits right at home in the insecure chaos of the mind.

If you’re being honest, I’m sure you’ve thought the same thing or something similar, too.

We scroll through social media and say, “Why can’t I be as pretty as her?” “Why don’t I have a job like hers?” “Why isn’t my hair like that?”

We compare and contrast and wish we weren’t who we are, where we are, what we are.

Sometimes I just don’t want to be me. I want to be anyone but me. I just get so tired of being me and think about what it would be like to be someone, anyone but me.

But then I think of all the things this “me” has. The people I have only because I am me. The places I go and the silly, fun things I get to do. I would have none of that if I wasn’t me.

God made each of us with certain, intricate details that make up exactly who we are that no one else can ever be. That is really so cool. Things that make us laugh, things that make us cry, foods we crave, songs we sing, moments we soak in, memories we have, the way we sleep, our favorite movies… Every person is a person. And that is so, so special.

There is one me with one soul and one earthly body. There is absolutely nothing like me on this entire planet.

There will always be days I don’t like the way I look or maybe my job or my clothes, but oh the days I appreciate all the little things about me, those are the best days.

On the days I don’t love me, I feel like no one else does either. But when I love being exactly who I am, I know there’s no way everyone else can’t help but love me. If they see me they way I really am, I know even the worst parts can be lovable.

That’s all everyone wants, is love, so that’s all we really have to give – to ourselves and every other person we are able to give it to.

And if you think that girl you follow on Instagram has woken up and not wanted to be herself before, you’re wrong. You aren’t the only one who doesn’t always want to be you.

But that’s why we can’t ever stop pursuing ourselves. We can’t stop pursuing love for ourselves, our dreams, our flaws, our victories, and failures. Because once we can celebrate ourselves, we can celebrate each other.

So I decided I really do want to be me. It’s so much fun and no one else can ever do a better job of it. And I really want you to be you. You’re the best at it!

If I’m me and you’re you, then there’s really no better way the world can exist. Because that’s exactly how it’s supposed to exist.

So let’s wake up, look in the mirror, look at our own Instagram, and like what we see because it’s what we will always see. And when we finally decide to wholeheartedly love and adore what we see, we will love and adore everything else around us.

Beauty is contagious. Carry your own, give it away, and catch a little from everything and everyone else.