What I Learned From a 65-year-old Man Who Asked Me Out

I’ve been single for quite a while, and I have really learned to love it. I am 110% happy being alone, but lately, I decided to start actually praying really for just a date.

I’m not looking to get married any time soon or anything, it would just be nice to go on a fun date with a good guy. I’m not desperate by any means, I think I’m just ready for a little change to my norm to get me out of my comfort zone a bit.

So, I asked the big man upstairs to hook me up.

Now when I pray, all I really ask is that the man will be a real man and ask me in person, or at least during a phone call, not a text message. I am over text messaging or messaging over social media about important things. I’d hate to tell my kids their dad asked me out in 140 characters or less.

God does certainly have a sense of humor, and I just know He gets a total kick out of my life, which is fine. I am always okay with the hilarious every day events that happen to me if I can share them with someone and make them laugh, even if that someone is God.

I was shopping with my mom today, per usual, when we separated so she could shop for my brother. As I was headed to the jewelry, an older man approached me. I will talk to literally anyone, so I smiled and responded.

He asked if I was local and said he hadn’t seen me around before. I explained I was, but that I didn’t live in town anymore.

Instead of trusting my instincts and listening to the little voice telling me to walk away, I felt bad, so I kept smiling and talking while he told me about his daughters.

I proceeded to answer his questions and told him where I worked and my parents names. Don’t ask me why. I have no clue how to lie on the spot. I’m surprised I didn’t give him my social security number.

He then said, “I’m not trying to hit on you.. I’m just trying to take someone to dinner.”

I laughed. When I get nervous, I laugh and just talk more. I said, “Oh that’s so nice, but I actually live in Huntsville.”

“That’s fine, I can come to Huntsville if you want me to,” he quickly replied.

Oh sir, I do not want you to. That’s what I wanted to say to him, but I just laughed again.

He said, “I lost my wife 7 years ago and I’m just trying to take someone to dinner. I tried Facebook and I’ve gotta get off all that crap.”

Well great, now I feel bad because his wife died.

Then I realized, Kaitlin you can lie to this man for the sake of your own well-being. And you don’t have to continue this conversation. Run.

So I said, “Haha…well I actually have a boyfriend.”

Lie. Such a big, huge lie. I almost burst out laughing at the lie.

“Well I figured you did the way you look,” he said.

Well that really was very nice of him to say.

Joke was on him for sure.

“Haha have a nice day,” I said as I swiftly went to hide in the purses and call my mother.

While I was highly disturbed that a creepy man the age of my grandfather asked me out, he really taught me a lot. And he’ll never even know, for which I’m thankful because that means I won’t have to have another terribly awkward conversation with him.

1. I need to be more specific with my prayers.

All joking aside, God is my friend. He doesn’t want me to just scratch the surface when I talk to him. He knows my heart, but He wants me to tell Him all about it. He wants to know what I want and what I’m struggling with and all my hopes and dreams and fears. He’s the only One who can ultimately make a difference in any and all areas of my life, so why hold back when I’m talking to Him?

2. I can’t be afraid to go after what I want.

The thing about that old man is that he was not afraid to go for what he wanted. He wanted a dinner date, so he was determined to find one. He didn’t think about how silly he would look or what might happen if he got turned down, he just did it. I want to be more like that. I want to be comfortable with who I am and go for what I want even if it means I might fall flat on my face. The worst anyone can say is “no,” and we can’t be afraid to hear “no” because it’s inevitable in life.

3. I don’t have to stay somewhere just to make someone else happy.

There comes a point when we have to take the wheel of our own lives. There’s no fun in being the passenger in your own life. God put you in the driver seat of one life and one life only. He gives you the directions, but you have to drive. It’s kind of like a Driver’s Ed car, God is always in the car with you and He can hit the breaks at any time, but He wants you to drive and make the mistakes and wrong turns so you can learn how to go the way He’s pointing  you. If we are always waiting for someone else to say “go” or until someone else is happy, we won’t ever be in charge of our own happiness. I am such a people pleaser, and I used to think that meant I was nice. Being a doormat is not nice. I’ve got to learn to walk away from a situation when it isn’t adding anything to my life or anyone else’s. That doesn’t mean I have to be rude, it just means I shouldn’t feel obligated to always entertain everyone else when I don’t feel ok with it. I gave up a lot of information to the man that I really shouldn’t have. It taught me to stop giving a piece of my heart to everyone I encounter. Not everyone is meant to have a piece of it.

While my encounter with the man three times my age was nothing less than awkward and made me sweat and run away and nervous-laugh more than usual, I learned something, and that’s what matters.

I think we learn something from every single person we meet and every single thing that happens. If we pay close attention to every day we are given, we can learn a little more about ourselves and the world around us. Even when we get thrown into incredibly awkward, uncomfortable situations, we can make the best of them and use what we learned to propel ourselves forward in some way, in some area of life.

And as for the man in Belk, I really do hope he finds a dinner date that’s a little closer to his age.

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One thought on “What I Learned From a 65-year-old Man Who Asked Me Out

  1. I laughed all over again reading this! You have a knack for taking the mundane and making it more relevant. I have often said to my younger peers that age gives you something in life you quite literally cannot get any other way: Perspective. Imagine standing in the 1st floor of a hotel, looking at the pool. You see all that you can from that vantage point, and make your assessment of it based on that vantage point. Now, physically go up 30 floors, and look at it again. Same pool. The only thing that has changed is your perspective on it, and from that vantage point you may find you have a whole new assessment. You may consider things about it that you didn’t from the first floor. You had a run in with that principle. You learned something about yourself, you gained insight into another human being (however creepy, I don’t discount that at all), and you earned a bit of perspective you didn’t have when you were an hour younger. Congratulations! I think you have taken a valuable piece of understanding and added it to your daily self. Maybe that is God intended to happen the whole time! Or maybe it was so we could have a good laugh! 😉

    Like

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