Securely Insecure

When did we start resting in insecurity and adapting to this way of life?

We have learned to deal with the comfort of no comfort in our own skin. It’s normal now. People get attention for not being insecure! That’s when you know there’s a problem – when the people that are standing up and saying “Hey I like being me” are getting put on magazines and featured in news stories. And hey, I think that is seriously awesome, but it makes me think – What is the world coming to if we have to pat people on the back for living the way everyone in the world should be living?

I’ll be the first to tell you it’s a struggle to be okay. Sometimes I’m okay, sometimes I’m not. And I have figured out that when I’m not, it is usually because I’m not okay with myself.

Social media gets blamed often for this sense of insecurity the population has adopted. I agree it has played a part, but we’ve been insecure for far longer than social media has been around. Social media just makes the comparisons and the self-loathing that much easier.

We scroll through our feeds and find 100 different people with a 100 different lives, looks, clothes, etc. we wish we had.

Newsflash – people don’t post their dirty laundry all over social media, they post all the clean, awesome laundry. So, everyone sees the good, not the bad. We have to stop comparing our bad with everyone else’s good. That’s not a fair playing field and it does nothing but completely wreck us and tear us down.

I’ve just gotten so accustomed to wishing for what others have. Now, instead of being really content with everything wonderful about myself and my life, I trick myself into contentment by saying, “Oh well, they’re just better than me, and there’s nothing I can do about it.”


What is “better?” Richer, prettier, skinnier, smarter, nicer? What makes someone “better” than someone else? I think that might differ with each person you ask, so there seriously is not an answer.

So giving up and throwing in the towel on being “better” is not the answer. Really being happy is the absolute only answer. And that is way easier said than done.

I’ve been trying to do it for 22 years. I haven’t been totally and completely happy with myself for 22 whole years. That’s a lot of time to not be okay with being me.

Don’t get me wrong, I am a generally happy person. I’m not walking around sad all the time. I usually push it out of my mind and say, “Ok here we go. You are who you are so just go take the day.” But that’s just the problem. I push it out of my mind and just decide to be insecure and be okay with insecure.

We as women and men have accepted insecurity instead of fighting it. We have to fight it, people. We have to be happy with the body, mind, and soul we were given because I assure you, and God promises you, that it’s just fine.

I don’t want to be okay with not being okay anymore. I want to be more than okay. I want to hit the ground running every single day, even if I have a breakout on my face, extra pounds on my stomach, and the least cute outfit in my closet.

No one posts pictures on social media of them in their least favorite shirt with a blemish on their face do they? Of course not. We are all too afraid to embrace the real us and then tell the world it’s fine to embrace us too.

Confidence is the key and it always has been. That doesn’t mean being conceited and putting everyone else down; it means walking confidently in the body and down the path God has created for you. He created both of those especially for you, and no one can ever take that away from you.

“Comparison is the thief of joy.” I have no idea who said this, but it’s the truth. The more you compare, the more you are unaware of your own blessings.

OK – So I started this post about a week ago and picked it back up very early this morning. While waiting in my car and typing it on my phone, I finished it up, kind of unhappy with how it had turned out, but I figured it was good enough. But, when I posted it, it hadn’t saved anything past the above paragraph.

I was so annoyed and couldn’t even remember everything I had just written. So, I wasn’t even going to post it. I decided it wasn’t that good and I wasn’t going to worry about it.

Then, after the series of events of my odd, “didn’t-go-as-planned-kind-of” day, I managed to make it to church. The lesson was ultimately about insecurity. Of course.

When I was writing this last week, I kept thinking “Oh, I need to write this with maybe just an underlying godly message…not too noticeable so that those who don’t agree with that will still relate.”

Then the preacher’s message stopped me dead in my tracks. There’s no reason for there to be an “underlying” message because I want it to be way out in the open. I want Christians and non-Christians alike to know exactly what I’m referring to.

This insecurity phenomenon that has taken over our hearts can only be solved by Jesus. By finding worth in Jesus. If we are finding worth in anything else, we are not doing it right.

Just because we don’t think highly of ourselves does not mean we are being humble. I probably think about myself more often because I dwell so much on my flaws. That is giving way too much attention to myself and not enough to Jesus and others around me.

The way we love ourselves spills over into how we love others. If we are in a constant stay of insecurity about ourselves, then what does that say about how secure we are about others? Are we seeing their souls or are we seeing their appearance and belongings because that’s what we hate about ourselves?

What are we focused on? When we settle into insecurity, we become securely settled into negative thoughts and actions. It’s inevitable.

The preacher asked what we saw when we looked in the mirror. Far too often, I see my flaws. I mean I even cry, yes cry, sometimes because I’m just so tired of the way I look.

That’s self-centered and rude. It’s rude because I’m beautiful. I’m beautiful because I’m a child of God.

That’s the first thing we should see when we look in the mirror. A beautiful son or daughter of the most high King. And that ain’t ugly.

So, we have to be done with this whole being secure in insecurity thing and absolutely kick insecurity in the face.

We have to live OUR specific journeys with OUR flaws and love OURselves while we do it. And the only way to do that is by recognizing who our security comes from. I’m telling you right now, it doesn’t come from Michael Kors or Tory Burch.

It comes from Jesus Christ.

And we have to stop accepting insecurity and accept that one truth right now. We have to do that for ourselves and for everyone we love.

It’s okay to not be perfect, but it’s not okay to not be okay with it.

So, don’t get too comfy in that insecurity. Take it off. Take it all off. And put on the love of Christ because that really is the best thing you’ll ever wear.


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