“All endings are also beginnings.” – Mitch Albom
While some people don’t spend a long time in the dating world, many people do.
There are so many articles, blogs and stories about love, marriage, dating, etc. I myself have written a few (ok a lot). But why is that?
It’s because it’s so important. Love is so important. A lyric in a Ben Rector song says, “We just wanna be loved.” The song basically says that the reason for almost everything everyone does is love.
We make jokes, we buy nice things, we get dressed up, we try our best, we go out of our way…we do a lot of things to be liked or loved by somebody — not just romantically — just period.
But what’s the point?
There are obviously a lot of points and I could write a whole book on that (that’s an idea), but right now I just want to talk about how it changes you, how it moves you, and what you get it out of it in the end.
Just because you get dumped or you end things with someone doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing. It can really be so great. It can be one of the best gifts in the world.
In dating, you meet a lot of different people. You learn about what you want in a future mate, but more importantly, you learn about what you want in yourself.
I like nice, round numbers, so I thought I would consolidate the list to five. The five people you’ll encounter on your quest for love — even if you never date five people. Hey, you might find all five people in one person (but then that person might have more issues than you even realized). But seriously, the five might just come all wrapped in one big box. So don’t go try to date five people really quickly (or at the same time) just to figure all this out…..
1. The match
You might just meet your match. Now this can mean several things.
You can meet your actual match. Someone who is just like you. He has the same interests as you, same hobbies, same goals, same sense of humor, same personality, etc. Sometimes it might just work. You might have been created so much alike because you were created for each other. It might have literally been a match made in Heaven. But, the old saying that opposites attract could hold true. Being too much like someone might have some negative consequences. Dating your twin soul could drive you crazy. Maybe that’s just what friends are for. Maybe you’ll learn that want your hobbies, goals and personality to be yours and yours only when it comes to a relationship — that you want to be you and nobody else.
You might meet the person that tests you and challenges you in every way. He might argue with you, point out your flaws and make you question everything you believe in. Your match will make you stronger and make you think harder. He will make you learn more about yourself than you’ve ever known. Making it to the end of the relationship with your match means you’ve finished the test. You’ve improved yourself and become a better you than you were when you met him, and isn’t that beautiful?
2. The Ying
During your journey, you’ll meet the ying to your yang. You’ll find your better half. He/she will complete you. Ying will hate red Starbursts so you can eat all the red and give him the orange. Ying will be quiet and listen because you’re loud or he’ll be the life of the party because you like to be reserved. He’ll think of things you never would and encourage you to try things you never have before. He’ll be your opposite in every way and make you leap out of your comfort zone. But sometimes Ying might be so much different than you that things just fall apart. You’re going down different roads at full speed and you’ll crash and burn if you try continuing down the same road. But before the crash turns ugly, you stop the trip and realize that you have come out more alive than ever before.
3. The Giver
We all want to learn to give. Give love. Give forgiveness. Give joy. It isn’t always easy, but there are those people who give so freely. They give themselves to everyone and everything they encounter. You’ll meet the giver. He’ll be kind-hearted and loving. He will give you the world and then some. He’ll let you do what you want, say what you want, and have what you want. He will give you all his time, love and energy. He won’t say no and he’ll make sure you’re always happy. That can be dangerous. That can bring out the worst in you. That can make you the taker. You have to find someone that you love and appreciate enough to give to. Find someone that helps you be a giver, and not just a taker.
4. The One That Got Away
You’ll meet the person you thought you’d be with forever. The one that got away will be everything you ever wanted and then some. You will feel like the luckiest person in the world to even stand next to them. You will never feel like you deserve them. They’ll be out of your league from where you stand. You’ll always give 100 percent to ensure you’ll have them forever. That will exhaust you. You can’t be at your best all the time. Both people in the relationship should feel lucky to be with the other, like they can’t believe the other one even likes someone like them. When this one gets away, it will be a relief, and you’ll know that you want someone to love you as much as you loved the one that just wasn’t meant for you. And how cool that you’ll one day meet someone that is even better than the one that didn’t want to stay. I bet you never even imagined that.
You’ll meet yourself. You’ll finally figure yourself out. When you do, there’s a pretty good chance the person you are supposed to end up with has just figured himself/herself out too. It’ll happen how and when it’s supposed to. Through all the love, the breakups, the struggles, the fights, the amazing dates and the not so amazing dates, you will fall in the love with the most important person in your life — yourself. The other people you meet while dating will lead you to who you truly are and that will eventually lead to who you’re supposed to spend forever with. You will learn things about yourself you never knew, and you will learn to be confident in who you are. That’s the key in allowing someone else to love you — to love yourself. And in the times that you are single and feel like you’ll never find anyone, that’s when you’ll learn the most. Spending a lot of time with yourself really shows you how fun you are to hang out with! And if it shows you that you aren’t so fun to be with, you’ll learn what you need to change to be someone you’d want to be with.
The truth is, you’ll meet way more than five people throughout your love-life. Most the time, you’ll meet them without even knowing it. When you finally find what you’re looking for, you’ll look back at everyone that changed you and guided you to where you finally are. You’ll love them all in the least romantic way possible. You will appreciate every single good and bad thing they ever did or said because it got you here. It got you to love. It got you to happy. The last person you’ll meet in dating will be worth having to meet every other person you ever met.