How to Catch All Those Fish in the Sea

There are plenty of fish in the sea…

Haven’t we been told about all the fish in the sea for years? You get broken up with. “There are plenty of fish in the sea!” You do the breaking up. “There are plenty of fish in the sea!” You have been single for two years. “There are plenty of fish in the sea!” You’ve never dated anyone. “There are plenty of fish in the sea!”

So how do you catch a fish?

It seems like some people have the bait that all the fish like. And some people aren’t getting any bites at all.

Try to follow me here because I’m about to dive in (dive in, get it?) to my thought process, which can be very scattered.

A friend of mine took an Old Testament class in college last semester and she told me about how the Jesus fish symbol came to be. In the days of persecution of Christians, those who were Christians had to keep their beliefs a secret. So, when they would meet someone and begin a conversation, they would make a curve in the sand with their foot. If the other person was also a Christian, he/she would make another curve, completing the symbol that we now know as a symbol that represents Jesus.

A few days ago, a younger girlfriend of mine told me about this guy she wanted to set me up with. Every time someone wants to set me with someone, I’m usually pretty skeptical because it almost never works out. However, this guy really seemed to be a great match for me. The first thing that really interested me was that he was a strong Christian. Because of our common beliefs and interests, I was interested in meeting him.

That got me thinking. There are literally millions of guys out there. There are a lot of them I could really get along with and be pretty happy with. So why is it so hard to just find one out of those million that I have things in common with?

I started thinking of it as being one of the Christians under persecution. When we meet someone, it’s like we draw a symbol in the sand. Whatever that symbol may be, we wait for the other person to complete the other half of it. They might draw a totally different symbol in the sand. If our symbols don’t match, it’s a pretty good indication that we don’t match.

Interests and hobbies and goals and passions are so detailed and so specific. All the things we love and want in a partner narrow down that pool that we’re fishing in. It doesn’t make us any less desirable or worthy; it just makes us intricate, which is how we were created. When we ignore that intricacy and try to simplify ourselves, we settle for a pretty simple symbol to draw. We allow someone else to easily match our half of the symbol.

Whether it’s looking for a fellow believer or someone that enjoys sports or someone that likes Harry Potter, it’s important to cast your bait where you know you’ll catch a fish you won’t want to throw back.

Fisherman usually aim for a certain type of fish. If they catch a bass instead of the carp they wanted, they’ll throw the bass back. We can’t just settle for the bass. We have to keep fishing for the carp.

Draw your symbol. Make it unique to who you are. When you find that one person to match it, reel ’em in.

Show A Little Skin, Make A Little Love

Be your own you and make your own love… 

Showing skin seems to be all the rage these days. I’m not much of a “skin shower” myself, but some girls (and guys) rock the look. More power to you, but sometimes I just wish we could all wear really long poodle skirts and collared shirts again. Maybe I’m the only one, but I think it’s a fun little look. 

A few weekends ago I was out in downtown Nashville with some friends. We were at one of the many locations downtown just listening to a band and hanging out. As we walked through downtown I couldn’t help but feel awfully insecure. I was wearing jeans and a tank top and a cargo vest that I made fun of myself several times. Friends assured me I looked great, but I felt like I should be fishing. I had enough pockets to carry everyone’s lure and bait. One of the girls in our group was very tall, very skinny, and very pretty. She was also wearing a white crop top and tight black pants. She looked “hot.” I mean, she really turned all the guys’ heads. 

I can’t even say I was really jealous, I was just doing that thing where I kept wondering “What is wrong with me?” Not one guy tried to talk to me or my other friend and I was honestly just so embarrassed of my mom jeans and cargo vest. I felt AWFUL about myself. I kept wishing I was one of those incredibly gorgeous girls that guys just flocked to. The girl I was with even got asked for a picture with these men while I stood there like the UGLY STEP SISTER. I could have crawled under the stage where the band played and never came out.

Then I did start talking to a very nice, very attractive guy. We had the best conversation. He even told me about his girlfriend! How neat.

I could have just stood in the middle of the room and yelled and cried. I bet I still wouldn’t have gotten any male attention.

Then it really hit me. I was being so incredibly superficial. WHO CARES if a bunch of random guys don’t drool over me? I would never want someone to come hit on me because my stomach was showing. I mean no disrespect to this girl, or any girl, that chooses to wear revealing clothes. I can’t say I wouldn’t be tempted to if I didn’t have a perfect body. Thankfully that isn’t a temptation for me since I haven’t been hitting the gym as much as I’ve been hitting the kitchen. Anyway, I don’t want a guy to want me for my clothes or my body or my hair. I want him to want my heart and my mind. I like to think both of those are my greatest assets. I may not ever have the hottest body around but I hope my brain and my soul really knock some guy off his feet. 

The right guy will likely approach me somewhere I least expect (or in church or a coffee shop if my wildest fantasy comes true). And when he does, I hope we’ll have a pretty cool conversation. I hope I’m wearing my favorite t-shirt and jeans that cover everything up. 

But that’s not what I learned that night. I know outer appearance isn’t all that matters. Duh. We all know that whether we acknowledge it or not. What I really learned is that I have to own that. I can’t dwell on the attention someone else is getting because of his/her decisions. I have to know what’s important to me and be confident in my walk of life. I certainly have to show a little skin– a tough skin, a confident skin! I have to love my skin enough to cover it up and never let it get to me. The most important thing I should wear is my heart on my sleeve so that others can see inside it. 

That night, I learned the real meaning of “to each his own.” I say it all the time, but I really grasped it that night. I had to let go of my insecurities and make my own love right there all by myself. I had to stop acting awkward and insecure and uncomfortable. If I didn’t love myself in that moment, no one else would! So I made my own love and my own fun. I ended up meeting a really cool guy that was in a band in England. He didn’t hit on me nor did he comment on my weird cargo vest. We just talked about life and got to know each other’s hearts. I’ll probably never see him again, and that’s okay. His last name was Bird and I found a lot of symbolism in that. He was really free as a bird and that single conversation that night really set me free from so many worries and insecurities. 

There might have been thousands of girls in Nashville that night showing some skin and getting lots of love and attention from many guys, but I showed myself some skin and some love and let go of a lot of negativity. What I thought was one of the worst nights of my life turned out to be one of the best. It’s just a shame that I didn’t figure that out until a few weeks later. 

I can’t wait to attract the kind of guy I’ll share my heart and my life with. Hey, maybe I’ll even be wearing that green cargo vest.